This text is to celebrate Poland joining European Union on 1st May 2004. Who could ten years ago say that we can get there...
The European Commission just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German wich was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s government conceeded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard “c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
10. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the Earth.
9. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
8. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
7. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
6. You can focus better with one eye closed.
5. You fall off the floor.
5. The whole bar greets you when you come in.
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out on a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It’s a beautiful day and love is in the air.
Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me!"
Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie’s lips.
"What are you doing, Pierre?", says the startled Marie.
"I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!"
Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me!"
Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie’s lips.
"What are you doing, Pierre?", says the startled Marie.
"I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!"
When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower."
Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts.
"Pierre! What are you doing?", asks the bewildered Marie.
"I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!"
They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up.
Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre, kiss me lower!"
Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire.
Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, "PIERRE, WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?"
Our hero stands up, defiantly, and says, "I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I go down, I go down in flames!"
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